And if you are wondering if my logsheets had the same fate of going into the shredder, they did not.
Back then, being a rookie, it was really tough for me to stay up the whole night and to write a mistake-free logsheet but there was once, I had a really bad time writing it after a deadly 12 hours night shift, without sleep. The expectation of my logsheet was expected to be mistakes free, all facts of the cases for the tour to be detailed (this is definately very important), the road and street names we patrolled to be written down in the correct sequence and there should not be any cancellation nor correction tape to be used.
Each time, I made a cancellation right at the second page, nearing the end. Imagine, I was cursing at myself silently. Though I was busy rewriting, my in-charge did not go home, he was there with me till 12 pm until I managed to submit my final, mistake-free logsheets. The three months of probation was tough, nevertheless, I bit on and passed my probation at the end of it.
16 years later, this came as a surprise. My in-charge suddenly sent me a cny greeting and we got connected back. In the midst of our chat, he asked if I had hated him and followed by an apology next, for the harsh manner he treated me when I was his probate and my question to him was, if I had ever done him proud being his probate? It seemed like we both had this burning question in our heart which were not brought up until 16 years later.
Infact, based on my built, friends were surprised when they got to know I once wore the blue uniform. I proudly say, I did not regret my choice when I embarked on this extraordinary career and I love the fact that it was not totally desk bound. It allowed me to gain experiences which I would probably not able to encounter if I did not join the force. The only factor which ultimately made me decided to give up was, coroner cases. I felt afraid to handle the bodies, my imgaination ran wild and beyond but I could not say no as it was part of my job, it was my responsibility. I had to bite the bullet for I was wearing the blue uniform.
My mind was not strong enough, flashbacks of the deceased kept coming to my mind, I felt upset and eventually afraid of dark places. Till date, I can still remember the coronrer cases I attended but it took me a decade for all the faces to fade off from my memory. To be honest, it can be really mentally draining. This was the one and only factor which I really find myself useless for not being able to overcome the fear, my fear of handling dead bodies, which is not a secret to the officers in both my station and the Ops Room.
To my in-charge, the four years in my extraordinary career, I have never hated you. I am thankful instead that at the end of the three months, you trained me to be independant, confident, knowing the rights and wrongs and how to protect myself and my partner while on duty.
And I have no regrets and was so, so glad to know, after hearing from you that I did you proud even after you left Orchard. In your eyes, I that gungho lass you have trained, minus that overly straightforward attitude. I am elated that you connected back with me. I wish you all the best for your remaining service before you retire. =)
Thank you for your acknowledgement after 16 years.
"时光飞逝， 转眼十六年已过。回想当初刚出道时，丫头我就被赐给这位传说中, 要求苛刻的师傅做徒儿。
师傅问我是否怀恨过当年他如此对我。他对我所写的日志表有如此严格的要求，一字不漏，就算值完12 小时的夜班，一个错字都不能有， 否则日志表就往切纸机里去。（我当然知道他的意向是什么, 也自然不会含有任何的恨意）
没有师傅苛刻的要求， 就没有当时能独立自行， 有自信去应付各种事件管理的我。
十六年后，很欣慰的知道当我还在警界的那些年，我确实没辜负师傅对我的期望，我也总算没丢了他的面颜。 在他眼里， 我就是一位有起劲， 性格坦诚，直率的丫头。"
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| Sifu and me =) |
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